It is definitely a Murphy day. I awoke at 7am worried about the report I had picked up the previous afternoon only to find that my thyroid hormone TSH (better known to me as That Shitty Hormone) had shot way out of proportion to the norm and couldn’t go back to sleep again. Continue reading
Life As I See It
INNOCENCE
When I moved to Madrid in the year 2001, I found the city so open, friendly and well organized as far as public transport was concerned that I decided to live a year without a car. My then husband had a car, so for going out of the city I was set. Everything else I did by taxi, bus, metro or walking. Continue reading
WE FORGET IT’S A MOVIE
In a more useful sense,
trances are unquestioned
thought systems or behavior
patterns. In a trance state,
we are so absorbed in the “movie”
that we forget it’s a movie.
And, we forget we are not just
the actor, but also the director
and the audience.
(Swami Beyondananda)
There are several kinds of drunk. Not always, but sometimes I was the aggressive kind: I got drunk to punish you, you being whoever had wronged me at that moment, and believe me, as far as I was concerned the “you’s” were standing in line. Continue reading
MEN ON MY MIND… (2009)
“Lately you have men on your mind….” That’s how my brother’s letter started out. I read the sentence several times and then asked myself: “Is that true?” I could answer yes or no. Am I thinking about men more than before? Before when? If I say 5 years ago, the answer is “yes”. If I say 17 years ago, the answer is “no”, definitely not: at that time I was just divorced and one of the top –if not the top-top- items on my mind’s list was A MAN, any man from the creeps to the crawlies. Continue reading
MY SOUL DOG
Someone asked me the other day about my chocolate Labrador retriever. Her name was Catira, a term applied to blond women in Venezuela, I believe. But to me she is my Soul Dog. In this case, circumstances are important because every thing about her adds meaning to the way she influenced and –as far as I am concerned- saved my life. This makes telling complicated but I will try. Continue reading
MINDLESS
Have you ever noticed that there are times when one is absolutely mindless? When anything done the day before… no, even ten minutes before, gets erased from the inner blackboard without leaving a trace? This usually happens in moments of stress, preoccupation or intense worry. It also happens when one is in love. Continue reading
WASTING TIME
It was only about three years ago that I realized it wasn’t possible to “waste” time. I am not going to launch into a diatribe about “time” not existing (I’ll leave that to the modern Einsteins and the plethora of recent gurus) because for all use and purposes in this life on Earth, time passes. Continue reading
LIFE DOESN’T OWE YOU ANYTHING
My life at that moment seemed almost impossible to live.
Twenty four months earlier I had declared myself a raging alcoholic on the verge of prolonged suicide and spent five weeks in an addiction clinic.
Thirteen months earlier I had given up smoking thinking that as I had managed to do it with one addiction, the second one would be easier.
Six months earlier I had finally decided to give up what I hoped was my last addiction. I divorced my husband. Continue reading
EGO-NESS, CONSCIOUSNESS AND AMENDS
The wonderful thing about Consciousness is that it doesn’t let you get away with anything. I had just finished the first day of September feeling rather pleased with myself (the first sign that Ego was taking over: Consciousness does not feel “pleased” with itself, rather its manifestations are of love and gratitude; Continue reading
The Multi-Faceted Approach to Building a Better Penis
I just couldn’t resist. The above phrase appeared as a heading in my spam box and throwing it away was beyond me. There must be a story to this, thought I. Of course, I didn’t dare open the mail to get the instructions because I feared that then I would be flooded with all the techniques for having a better, bigger, longer and more satisfying penis. Considering I had never had one at all, I could not see the use of having this kind of information swamping my spam box. Continue reading
Writing a life 