Looking at my life since my divorce 19 years ago, I realize I have been doing things backwards. Travelling around Europe, living in new places, meeting new people, learning a new language, living in an attic apartment with the minimum is something to be done at 18 or 25, not 68 (and I would ask: Is that true?) Continue reading
Life As I See It
AFTER THE DOWNS
And then there are the days after “the downs”. Things begin to look different. Not right away, but little by little. A first bird shows up at the feeder that has hung unattended out of the third story window. Eyes once more delight in the sudden rays of sun that shoot through clusters of grey clouds. Continue reading
THE DOWNS
We’re so used to running from discomfort,
and we’re so predictable. If we don’t like it,
we strike out at someone or beat up on ourselves.
We want to have security and certainty of some
kind when actually we have no ground to stand
on at all. (When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron)
In the excitement of realizing what seemed like so many dreams at once, I did not think much of what was to come, so I felt no fear. Continue reading
THE SHORTEST DAY
Two days ago was the shortest day of the year, the Winter Solstice. It was also the 21st of the 12th month of the year 2010, all 1+2 = 3 + 3 + 3 = 9. So it was supposed to be magical and I received three invitations to meditate and send love, peace and light to the world. Continue reading
IT IS DONE
There they go, each piece just as I had imagined, even wished sometimes. I remember coming home and saying: “I wish someone would come with a moving van and take everything while I am not here and I could come back and find the apartment empty, ready to start over again. Continue reading
THOUGHTS ON THE KINDNESS OF THE UNIVERSE
Over time I have discovered how really kind God, the Universe, the Cosmic Intelligence, the What-ya-ma-call-it is. There is no doubt. I used to complain about losing my eyesight and having to wear glasses to read until one day I put on my glasses to look in the mirror at something on my face and … Oh mien Gott!!!! Continue reading
AS BAD AS IT SEEMS (2009)
Sometimes things aren’t as bad as they seem… they’re worse. There I was worrying that there was something in my successful-for-the-first-time-in-ages Herbalife diet that was making my TSH Hormone skyrocket and I couldn’t have been more wrong. My darling doctor, the one who still has time to listen to everything I have to say, the big worries and the small ones, Continue reading
REMAINS
I wander around an empty apartment. There are just remains now. A couple of hangers in a closet, reminders that once there were clothes there; a small basket used as a catch-all in the bathroom; a paperclip on the floor; Continue reading
TRANSITION
Neither here nor there. Madrid is empty, winding down. Salies is empty, awaiting. Everything is in between. This is to be lived. Writing is not possible. I observe. People come, things leave, spaces regain their rightfulness, cycles close. I am ready. Three days to go, the countdown begins. This Blog will await me in France when my regular computer arrives and normality once again allows the mind to settle and create. Till then, au revoir, hasta luego, Thank you for checking in. Brianda
THE SMALL THINGS IN LIFE
There are moments when the heart stops and the Universe takes over. Virginia Woolf called them “moments of being” and dedicated one of her autobiographical books to the matter. Time and space disappear and there is nothing but wonder, awe and, yes, love. Continue reading
Writing a life 